Setting Intentions

Flow 

I've been working hard on organizing my life using a digital planner with the hopes of keeping on top of my physical, emotional, and spiritual health.  I am a firm believer in the connectivity of these aspects of the self and the essential connectivity of all living things.  Additionally, the idea of writing has been churning in my mind for years but I have not been able to get anything going.  Then, this morning while trying out a new workout video, the idea to make notes about what is in the video, what I liked, and what I didn't like came to my mind.  Voila, the idea for this blog is born.  My hope is to share what I'm learning on my bariatric journey - mind, body and spirit.  I had Vertical Gastric Sleeve in May 2020 during the small slow-down in the pandemic when my hospital (I work for them as well as being a patient) allowed non-essential surgeries.  I'll share the story leading up to my surgery sometime in another post.  

Overarching Idea

I want to set my intentions for this blog.  Similar to offering an intention before a yoga practice.

I intend to write about my journey in losing weight, my mind (and finding it again), and my burdens.  I intend to be myself in what I share both the good and the bad.  

Forewarning: Sometimes I make sense, sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I am clearly kind, sometimes I missing something and being a jerk.  Sometimes I'm organized, sometimes I'm a mess.  Sometimes I'm an intellectual, but most often I'm an intuitive who dabbles in the world of the intelligent.  Sometimes I'm an extrovert and love people, sometimes I'm so disappointed in the humanity around me  that I withdraw and avoid anyone outside my little family.  I also reserve the right to throw in whatever I want on one of my creative (or bitchy) whims.  Oh and I swear.

Spiritual 

Spirituality is at the core of all beings and mine runs strong.  My need for control also runs strong and informs but also occasionally takes-over my spirit.  

One example: my parenting takes a huge portion of my efforts and time.  My belief is that my children's future depends on our creating a foundation of love, spirituality, education, health, relationships, and tolerance.  I'm fierce about this foundation work for them.   On the outside I look like one of those mom's other parents think are jerks who are judging them for their parenting ways.  In reality, I'm terrified of my kid's flying the coop to find the world and life a completely different experience the way I did.  The person I am today is in many ways the polar opposite of who I was in my early 20s.  I want it to be better for my kids the way many parents have something they hope is better for their kids than it was for them.  

When I'm losing my burdens by offering them up to the holy, it is often in this area of my life.  Thus, you will see a lot of parenting surrender posts but also other areas I over-control because of fear.  I intend to share with you my surrenderings. 

Mental 

My mental health is up and down and requires vigilant monitoring to stay in a good place.  I'll also share my story of mental health in another post.  In general, I'll share the ways I'm struggling and the tricks I've learned along the way to help bring me back to balance.  I might review some books and make recommendations.  My dominant mental health struggle is depression.  Just as I shared above, sometimes I get so disappointed in humanity I seriously lose it.  Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with my need to accomplish and improve, I lose it.  Sometimes, I lose it because of horrormones.  Yes, I call them horrormones, and my annoyance with their particular torture can be in another post too.  

Body

Finally, I'll write about this glorious vessel I was given at birth and it's care as I age.  I try very hard to love my body the way my revered body-positive icons teach me, but I lose sight of that too.  Medically, I tend toward a stronger appreciation for the healing power of food and natural medicine.  I rely upon big-pharma to keep my body going with an auto-immune disease that wants to tear it down.  I don't have a lot of body image issues, but rather pain and mobility issues.  I'm sure I'll write about my love of the HAES (Health at Every Size) movement and how it will remain a huge part of my weight loss journey even though it seems counter-intuitive.  I'll check out workouts for those of us who have really never exercised much and share reviews of what I find.  I think I'll also write some of my tips and tricks but also share my failures.  My body care is the hardest part of my self-care routine and I struggle to stay committed to it.  

Frequency

I hope to write about each topic at least once per week as life allows.  COVID has a lot of folks staying home but I'm not one of them.  I'm a clinical chaplain and work for a healthcare system in Houston at five of their hospitals either covering for a staff-chaplain day away, high census, or on-call for overnight and weekend traumas.  I'm out and about a lot in this nightmare of a life-stealing virus.  I might share about work here and there but this is not about that. 

I just want to write and share and connect.

🕊 Peace 🕊